R.I.P. Facebook ‘POKE’ – The Social Media Feature That Never Was?

By: Ivy MG

By: Ivy MG

I barely remember those bleak early Facebook days, when the word ‘poke’ was introduced to my vocabulary and added to my social media consciousness. My FB friends would send ‘pokes’ and even customise the ‘poke’ action and make it look more fun. And for a brief moment then, it was a wholesome way to online-nudge a person and say hey what’s up. Or so it seemed. For the record, I never really used ‘poke’ for any reason whatsoever (yeah, right?).

Poke might have been a widely misunderstood playful feature, a widely misappropriated term to get a member of the opposite sex to “POKE” you back (hey, she POKED me back, hur hur hur hur hur), or simply just a waste of time. But Facebook rallied behind it along with a few new converts, displaying two of these three magnificent qualities.

But that was in 2008 when Facebook was just like a new planet ready for prime online real estate to be later devoured, monopolised and bastardised by online legions, bogans, 9gag fans, metalheads, old school warriors, advertisers, and really hot NSFW models, later eclipsing myspace, that was actually ages from its demise back then when it suddenly started disintegrating from within years later and was never able to regain its online clout like before. They never had “poke” in their functions, and maybe as a sign of integrity and dignity, it probably was good that they didn’t.

Although Poke is still officially in some form “alive” on the actual Facebook website, I don’t think anyone ever has used it for years now. Maybe a new and improved Farmville ran over it. Or maybe those poker gamers actually like fun, interactive poker games (or strip poker, really) than actually “poke” people on FB, whatever it really means. Maybe Mafia Wars was more fun and popular. Heck, any other feature or app would do, just not ‘poke’. Whatever the case is, the button exists on the website’s interface, but no one really cares about it.

But actually killing ‘poke’ as an app is tantamount to abandoning it due to failure, its stupidity, or lack of actual value. We will never know. Maybe those new kids who were deprived of such a feature will actually have better lives in the long run.

Or maybe receiving a notification that reads “Dan just POKED you” just sounds weird and doesn’t sound right at past 2 am in the morning. It might sound great if an attractive member of the opposite sex did it, but they still didn’t give it a go because it sounded bloody awkward. “Michelle just POKED you. Would you like to POKE her back?” Yes?

For the record I never used “POKE” but back then when I had a hot FHM model online “friend” named Carla Bianca, I might have used it for my own selfish reasons, just for the satisfaction and bragging rights on my wall and everyone seeing that “Carla POKED you.” But I didn’t. I swear.

Rest in Peace, Poke, hope you find your way into the forgotten and abandoned online netherworld, wherever that is.