420666: The Shawarmariahjuana Specials

THC Zine x Metrogig “JOINT” effort

presents Shawarmariahjuana specials, A special report.

|

There was a big shawarma trend back in the mid 90’s. Filipinos gobbled up rolls after rolls of these beef & veggies pita rolls across QC and Manila. The hype/trend/craze is back for the nth time, and it’s now the go-to stoner local munchies, with even more options.

But decent pita bread, a good amount of fresh veggies, good (sometimes bad?) beef, and the garlicky yogurt sauce and hot sauce in a good serving size are the basics of a good shawarma / beef doner. It’s an alchemical balance, an art and science of sorts (??), supported by the hungry food trippers and popular with stoner munchies enthusiasts.

Today, the shawarma trend comes full circle again as many spots (including a seasonal shop and a shop endorsed by Piolo Pascual) exist to serve man with dead irresistible beef chunks. Oh yeah.

THC Zine trekked around Mandaluyong City and Quezon City for one stoney month on a rather ripped and expensive stoned adventures (there were return trips) to bring an insider special for this issue.

Shawarma Shack
The hype was so thick that day it could be cut with a knife. SS launched another major branch at Mandaluyong: All day long a long line of 79 pesos buy one take one shawarma madness was present at Shaw Starmall Mall everyday. I decided to join in to check on the hype like some bumbleheaded sheep.

As I waited in the long line suddenly this dark skinhead dude with construction guy clothes barges in front of me. He was trying to cross to the escalator and literally and rudely speed-force-squeezed himself in the very little centimeters distance of my large belly and the next persons in line, just like every Filipino in public.

He angrily looked at us and both of us looked at him. He got pissed off because he struggled to squeeze his impossible dream, racing time to his own death. He lingered on at the second floor looking at me and the 2 dudes he hit in front of me at the line. I laughed at him and he got mad. Then he left.

25 mins later I have 2 medium sized shawarmas in front of me.

The pita bread received a 7 out of 10 rating due to being too sweet for a shawarma wrap. The amount of beef and veggies are decent.

At 80 pesos (ok 79) it does the job for lunch or heavy snacks, but fat obesers might do one or two more. A good deal. – Rx

7.5 out of 10

Turks
There were three locations involved in this here “review”.  But no need to elaborate, the popular Turks is the people’s shawarma right now. Because it is the only one who did a major marketing campaign, even hiring Piolo Pascual ^ (yes, that’s him) and getting popular spots across QC and Manila.

Most branches even have a life sized cardboard standee of the man himself to take inappropriate selfies with.

However, the shawarma he is holding in that ad doesn’t really represent their product well: The size is too big and there’s no lettuce involved in the real one. You can punch his cardboard standee if you want, or him if you ever see him in person.

But also hey, and it’s actually not bad at all (8.5 stars):

* Shangrila Shaw Turks: Consistent player with good lemon tea drinks. 8.5 out of 10.

* SM North Edsa Turks: no iced tea available, just the regular water and soda drinks options. Still good, 8.5 out of 10.

The trainee who was doing the wraps and rolls was absent mindedly making poorly wrapped shawarmas with pitiful amounts of beef and veggies. He didn’t know how to do it, and he pissed off the 2 crew people.

The main server angrily took over, shouted at him, and glared very close to his face for being stupid. Hahahah.

* WCC Shaw Turks: probably the best one out of all the three. 9 out of 10. They should be the flagship store with the “trademark” Turks serving and quality.

And at 60 pesos it is a Satanically good decent deal.

They may also have pioneered the appropriate packaging, with waxed paper stiff (he said stiff) paper cone, instead of the older and inferior thin paper used by fly by night “shawarma” shops rolled into the pita bread. This stupidity has caused people to eat into the paper and pita, and the sauces dripping down and causing a stupid mess.

When all else fails, Turks is a reliable deal. I had a shawarma bender once and ate three in one evening, and even had dinner later. It does the job. Piolo Pascual included or not (NOT). – Rx

These last three joints come with a HIGHly recommended tag, please do search them out and try them. In no particular order:

Prospero’s Shawarma
The little known gem located at Circle C Robinson’s Mall in Congressional Avenue (next to Causeway and Cherry grocery). Their shawarmas are priced at 55 pesos and are kvlt.

However a recent price increase to 65 pesos without any increase to the contents is not good.

Pita bread is the old school and traditional, and complements the beef and veggies with the classic garlic white sauce quite well. Turks is a just little bigger.

There is an extra cheese version I have not tried yet. They also have decent shawarma rice boxes. A more than GOOD deal hidden in Quezon City and I mean good. from 10, to now 8.5 stars.

The same building and same ground floor also has a really outstanding sushi spot and a great siomai dumplings stall. The other snack spots near it are also great and affordable munchies.

Efes Beef Doner (seasonal Trinoma stall)
Efes is Another number one spot holder. Trinoma Mall made a deal with the (Mediterranean?) Devil. Every 3 months or so they host a month long center mall plaza food and shopping fest with cool stalls and sellers. The Efes Doner pop up stall simply says Beef and Lamb Doner: 150 pesos.

The Beef and Lamb doners there are pretty amazing. They’re pricey but hey it’s got thick slices of BBEEEFF and good amount of veggies with garlic yogurt, hot sauce and very good large pita bread. Quality food here, and this gets 10 stars again.

Mister Kebab shawarma / beef pita doner
And yet another top 1 performer in this category. Medium sized packed beef (or lamb) good veggies, pita killer basics and with addicting garlic white sauce and hot sauce combinations. Also responsible for popular kebab beef and lamb and chicken rice plates that are top notch for total stoner munchies overdrive. Quality of their food might vary depending on staff availability or if it’s a packed house (it usually is). 10 stars.

Keep tokin’
The THC Zine Team

part 2 soon…