Top Five QC Siomai (Part 1)

[This review is 5 years old. It originally appeared on stonedfoodreviews.ph where the site owner used to work for. THC Zine is not responsible for any changes in price, quality, and ingredients}

Pretty sure sometime in your life (or even up to now), you ate/eat lots of siomai under a tight budget. It is cheap, filling, tastes great, and importantly, wallet-friendly. And also very addictive. They may not be healthy, but it does the job. Many students and minimum wage earners have survived on this sh*t over the years. Whether it raises your blood pressure too much is another story.

Most siomai joints around town have increased over the years from 30++ or 40 pesos up. But they remain some of the cheaper food alternatives. Part 1 delves into a few less popular ones and some well-knowns.

Here are top five popular Chinese dumpling joints to check out:

Siomai House
Still reigning, the infamous minimalist siomai store with only siomai (pork/shrimp) and gulaman drinks. When a food franchise has laser and SATAN focus on 1 main product, be very afraid.

It was Bruce Lee who once said “I fear not the man who has practiced 10000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10000 times.” Or in this case, 2 main products that are focused, standardized, and sell well. I also have really weird comparison skills.

They also taste good, the siomai is bigger than most commercial ones, with exception to Kowloon’s OG 3-piece XL siomais. It is kinda dry, so add a little more calamansi, soy sauce, and their very awesome chili garlic. (photos stolen from their FB page)

Perfect with EL Niño Crispy Chili Garlic

Kowloon

We all know how Kowloon seems to be the OG around here in QC (and Manila in general… Well, some spots..) and there’s no need to discuss why. Aside from other dimsums, giant meatball siopao buns, noodles, & Chinese fast food, are their XL siomais. The slightly sweet chili garlic rules too.

I suggest getting wasted on some cold Grande Pale Pilsens (or Red Horse for heavier), then toking a full bowl(s), buying one order each of their Pork, Beef, and Sharksfin siomai + one jumbo bola bola Siopao bun, and eat slowly while listening to Grief – Come to Grief at 3am Saturday Morning. FN Heavy.

Chowking Siomai

Highly recommended are their Siomai + Chao Fan rice meals. You can also get fried siomai on ’em which has a different sauce. Their mushy chili garlic also has a good addend to the proceedings. Unfortunately, they can be Aholes at times.

stupid story:
One time years ago at the SM North Edsa Chowking, I ordered with my Mom. I also didn’t have enough sleep and to make it more exciting I had some problems that day. Not Good.

A waiter suddenly walked in front of me, I called him to get help cleaning the table full of leftovers and stuff. He looked at me and then just passed me by. There were no other tables that needed cleaning. This happened three more times. Chowking was full and Mom told me I had to save our table by staying put.

Suddenly this hot chick and her mom entered the fast food joint. The waiter leaped from wherever spot he was (?) and ran to clean their table. At this point, Mom came back from the seniors discount counter with food. I got really pissed off and called the manager telling her the evil-looking waiter ignored me but passed by and looked at me x4 times.

The manager said sorry and helped us clear the table. Miss Manager called the attention of the waiter and scolded him (with a loud voice) that I wasn’t a homeless guy junkie, I was a customer (and with a senior citizen). He passed our table with a bad look and I told him “ayos a ikaw pa galit, hiyang hiya naman ako sayo sir”

Later on, I went to the restroom and saw myself in the mirror. Dark large circles under my eyes, red bloodshot eyes, just woked-up hair and an old Napalm Death Nazi Punks F*ck Off shirt (with Hitlers doing Sieg Heils in front, and an anti-nazi rant at the back, ha), and years old destroyded jeans and slippers, plus brown paper bags in old plastic bags.

However, the problem is  I look like this most of the time.

The Pork Siomai Chao Fan Meal was/is killer. Sadly Chowking’s older version of their Beef Spicy Chao fan meal is long extinct, I miss that one. Bad decision on taking it out of their menu. All the other siomai and chao fan meals are good and wallet-good.

However, they are very inconsistent with serving sizes and quality. It depends on the branch I guess (?). Their egg fried rice for example is only half a serving. You really can’t rely on pics and advertising.

Perfect Pair with EL Niño Crispy Chili Garlic

Shaolin Siomai

I discovered Shaolin Siomai while lost somewhere in Waltermart EDSA near Muñoz. This joint wins for remaining 25 pesos in price, and the hot kick in their chili sauce (more chili than garlic in their formula) and the 10 peso gulaman drink with lots of shredded gulaman.

A Satanically Good deal, at 35 pesos when others are a little more pricey. *****666 STARS

Shanghai Siomai

With branches in the food court area at SM North EDSA and at Circle C Mall grocery at Congressional Avenue. Recommended, yeah pricey at 35 pesos, but good stuff, with a soycalamansi sauce and chili that works weird and doesn’t taste like the common others.

(pic stolen from: Joanne P. https://looloo.com/r/6uzc)

– R Ibanez